Hate that I Love You
by EEstelle
Summary: The Marauders are at Hogwarts, and one of them is obsessed with Lily. Too bad Lily's not so enamored with him. From toad pranks that go horribly wrong, to awful Marauder mischief that ends up magically right, James is determined, come hell or high water, to make Lily fall. Marauders fic. Fluff, humor, n'stuff. Features Jily, alongside other characters. Oneshot Series. Mostly canon.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **Hello, and thank you for reading! You are all my favorite. :) Just wanted to mention a few things so there's no confusion, hopefully. Just so we're clear, this is a Marauders fic which will mainly focus on James and Lily, although many other characters will be featured. I'm trying to stick as closely to canon as possible, but because not all of the information I need is available, I will be making things up. That being said, if you notice any discrepancies, please please please let me know. I would also be very grateful for any comments, questions, or constructive criticism you may have. While this is currently just a oneshot, if anyone enjoys it, I will probably turn it into a series. Thanks again for reading, as I couldn't do it without you! Bless your souls, and hope you have a wonderful week!**

-EEstelle

 **The Very Warty Prank Wars**

Synopsis: When James showers Lily in a series of toad-related pranks, Lily decides to take matters into her own hands. With a little help from Severus and the Marauders, what started out as teasing turns into a full-out war. Can Lily shut James' abnormal large mouth? Or will things horribly backfire?

If James had been trying to turn her green, he had utterly failed, for Lily Evans was about as red in the face as one could get. Beneath the warts and slime that oozed its way across her skin, a livid rash was spreading to the tips of her ginger roots. Lily looked down at her reflection in the bottom of her empty cauldron and audibly groaned, causing the last three students who hadn't already been watching her to glance up curiously. Two tables to her left, she caught a glimpse of the culprits, high-fiving under the desk and snorting in quiet laughter. Of course it had to be Sirius Black and that no-good Potter. She glowered at them as Professor Slughorn turned from the board to find the cause of the disturbance.

He seemed to startle as his eyes latched onto Lily. Potions was one of her better subjects thanks to Severus, the stringy black-haired boy sitting miserably next to her, but at the moment she was on her feet and fuming.

"Why Lily, what's- " he started to say. She cut him off.

"Apparently someone" she said with emphasis, "thought it would be funny to turn me into a bloody toad!"

Crossing her arms in an attempt to avoid the childish practice of pointing out her assailants, she couldn't quite conceal her outrage enough to behave herself. Slughorn seemed at a loss for words, so it took a moment for her to realize that the whole room had gone silent.

"What?" she snapped, daring anyone to answer. Only then did she notice the long, slimy tongue coiling out of her mouth. "Oh," she said, testing her theory and consulting her reflection again. A toad tongue had obviously accompanied the wart-skin charm.

For two entire minutes, no one said anything, not even Slughorn. In her periphery, she could see that Potter was eyeing her, a glint in his hazel orbs telling her he was waiting to see if she'd rat him out. Making up her mind not to give him the satisfaction, Lily huffed.

"Fine. I'll be in the hospital wing," she said, very aware of the revolting tongue. "Come on, Severus. I'll need- "

On the word 'need,' a fly flew across her path. Without even thinking about it, the tongue darted out and POP! She had eaten it. Wide-eyed and horrified, she took Snape by the wrist and pulled him after her, not bothering to pick up her things. The door closed to jeering from the Slytherins and uncontainable Gryffindor laughter.

"Detention, Potter, Black," Slughorn's muffled voice said amicably. Lily smirked, though she couldn't be entirely happy about it. It seemed the boys would be punished after all.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Severus started to ask what exactly had her so enraged, but she just shook her head. He seemed to understand that she wouldn't be saying anything until the wretched spell was taken care of. When they finally reached Madame Pomfrey, he decided that, whatever Lily had planned to say before eating her first bug, what she'd really needed was a translator.

Half an hour later, after explaining Lily's wild hand gestures and exasperated grunting to the healer, and after waiting 20 minutes for the reversal serum to take effect, Severus stood from his seat in the corner of the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey had left fifteen minutes before with instructions to return to class when the tongue was shrunken down, and the pair of them had spent the last few minutes in silence. Lily was sitting up on a bed, warts thankfully gone though her skin remained a mottled shade of olive green, when Severus finally approached her. A thoughtful grimace was etched on her brow, but she seemed to have lost the edge on her rage. Not that he minded her occasional outbursts, especially when they were directed towards the arrogant James Potter, but he hadn't thought he'd get much of a response from her until she'd cooled off. He poked her shoulder to get her attention and her head snapped up. "What?" Hot-headed Gryffindors. Really, what did he expect?

"What's bothering you, Lily? It's only Potter. He's horrible to everyone," he said casually, fixing her with a dark-eyed stare. She blinked.

"Oh, is he?" she said, failing to conceal her sarcasm. Seeming to realize this was the wrong response by the expression her friend was wearing, she forced herself to calm down, sighed, and backtracked. "I'm sorry, Severus. I don't know what's gotten into me. It's just that arse James Potter. He simply won't leave me alone!"

"Really? I'd just assumed Potter and those ruddy Marauders enjoyed making the lot of us miserable," he said loftily. "The Slytherins all hate him. He's vile, but nothing special enough to make a fuss over."

She sighed again. "I don't hate him, Severus, and Remus and Peter can be rather nice. It's just that it's gotten particularly bad for me lately. In the last week alone, that prat has pranked me three times, and they've all involved toads! Ugly, slimy, warty toads! Honestly!"

Severus quirked an eyebrow at her, and she groaned, face-planting in a pillow. She began mumbling, and Snape allowed one corner of his mouth to lift in a slight grin before interrupting.

"You know I can't understand you."

"Right," she huffed, coming up red with hair sticking up at ridiculous angles. "I forgot I hadn't told you. Well, really, I didn't want to talk about it, but… yes, well, anyways. That day you were sick in Transfigurations? We were turning pincushions into toads, and of course most of us were really struggling, but that's always been one of James' best subjects. Well, naturally, he got bored, and started turning everything in sight into a toad, and then when one jumped on my face, I screamed, and he started laughing and singing 'Toad warts, toad warts, Lily-kins is out of sorts!'" This last part she sang to the tunes of the Hogwarts school song. "It was just awful. It took Mcgonagall about two jiffs to sort it out, but every time I walk in a room now, he starts humming.

"And then there was Tuesday, when he dumped tadpoles in my pumpkin juice, and Thursday he replaced all my chocolate frogs with more toads, and then today… It's just ridiculous!" At this, Lily flung her arms into the air, narrowly avoiding Severus' nose. She bit her lip and returned her hands to her lap, flushing some under Snape's mildly amused, mildly disbelieving gaze.

"Help me out, would you?" she finished, surprisingly sincere.

"Sounds like Potter could use a taste of his own medicine, seeing as how he already seems to have a sense of his own importance."

"Um, what?"

"You're just as smart as he is, actually smarter. Why not make him pay for his own arrogance?"

"You aren't honestly suggesting I give him wart-skin, too, are you?"

"Not exactly." He couldn't help but smirk at the prospect, though. "But you're better at charms than he is. Two can play his game, or three."

Lily hesitated. "We could get in a lot of trouble, you know. I wouldn't want to stoop to his level."

"It's so low, you couldn't if you tried."

"It would be poetic, though, wouldn't it?"

"Extremely."

Lily couldn't stop herself. She clapped her hands and giggled. "Oh, what shall we do? Anything to wipe that rotten smirk off his face."

"You could turn him into a toad. A real one. A slimy, smelly, pompous- "

"Severus!" she laughed. "That's too extreme! We're barmy to even consider it."

Lily hopped from the bed, looking pleased nevertheless, and took Severus by the hand. He startled, but didn't try to pull away as she dragged him into the corridor and through the throng of students just getting out of class. They raced back to the dungeons to grab their things, hoping to make it to Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts respectively on time, but Lily stopped abruptly when she saw her bag.

Her books had been neatly placed inside and her ink and quills were all stowed. Inside her cauldron was a scrap of paper, on which was written in scrawling print: "Toad warts, toad warts, Lily-kins is such a sport! Have a nice day, Evans!"

Severus glanced over as she furiously crumpled the paper in her hands. He raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

She muttered. "Oh, it is soooo on."

XXX

Friday's prank had gone swimmingly, and James had to admit he couldn't have asked for a better reaction. Yes, both he and Sirius spent Saturday evening in detention, but it was a small price to pay when compared to the poisonous fire in Lily Evans' eyes. All through the weekend, he found himself grinning at the oddest of times, remembering the look of shock that had adorned her face when she'd eaten that bug, and envisioning what she'd done when she'd found his note. Detention hadn't even been so bad, even when they were forced to stay an extra hour to clean up the soil they'd thrown at each other while repotting Mandrakes for Professor Sprout. Still, by Monday morning the satisfaction was starting to wear off, as Lily appeared to be ignoring him again. He'd only run into her twice between Potions and Sunday evening, once in Charms and once in the Gryffindor common room, and both times she'd fixed him with a death glare before stalking away. But by Monday she refused to give him the time of day. Something would have to be done about that. If there was one thing James couldn't tolerate, it was being overlooked.

"She's not even glaring at me," he muttered at lunchtime in the Great Hall, when Lily brushed past him without as much as a shudder. Sirius turned with a bite of mashed potatoes in his mouth, gulped, then reached for a leg of chicken. "What?" he said, not waiting for an answer to take another huge bite.

"Lily," James sulked. "Pranks don't last they way they used to."

"Ah, don't take it so hard, Prongs. I'm sure you'll get her blood up soon enough. She practically blew her top the last time 'round."

Sirius' words might have been reassuring, if he wasn't trying not to burst out laughing as he said them, a ridiculous smirk quirking his lips.

"Come off it, Padfoot! I'm serious. What say you- "

"No, I'm Sirius," Sirius cut in.

"- to another prank, eh?" James finished, talking over him. Sirius just wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"Merlin, you're impossible. Oi, Moony, up to a bit of pranking?"

From behind Sirius, Remus Lupin lifted his head from the book he'd been reading, an innocent look on his face.

"Come on, Rem. I know you were listening."

"I've gotten in enough trouble as it is this week," he said, though he was smiling.

"Ah, Rem, you already missed Friday, surely…" he stopped abruptly as a shadow fell over his plate, and for a moment he stared up, his mouth gaping like a fish. Recovering, he plastered on a smirk and stood, turning to tower over the girl.

"Lily! I knew you'd see the light. Come to beg me to go out with you?"

Lily scoffed, though he was pleased to see her cheeks go a rosy pink as she retorted, "You wish. Actually, I've brought you something."

There was something suspicious about that, except that when he looked, Lily really did seem to be holding something behind her back. "All right. I'll bite. What has the lovely Lily Evans got for me?"

Her blush got blotchier, but he was rather impressed when, instead of shying away, she stepped up so that they were nose to nose and stared straight at him with those venomous green eyes.

"Polywogaportus!" she whispered, pulling her wand around in front of her and pointing at his feet. What? He thought, confused. He beamed, chuckling as he glanced at Sirius, Remus, and another boy that'd just shuffled over, Peter Pettigrew. All of them wore the same blank expressions.

"Don't think I've ever heard of that hex before, Evans," he said, still smiling at her. She still looked pleased for some reason, and though there was no way he'd admit it, he melted a little at her close proximity. "Are you sure you don't want to ask me out now?" He couldn't help himself. He flicked a strand of her hair as she pulled away.

"Ah, Lily, come on! Just- " He took a step after her as she swiveled on her heel and began heading for the door, when he was suddenly flung forward. A great CROAK! echoed around the room as his foot hit the floor and a handful of heads turned to find the source. He looked down at his feet, and gasped. Lo and behold, his shoes were wiggling, the laces turned to long, warty legs and the toe sporting two voluminous eyes. CROAK! CROAK! The tongues of the shoes were lifting, croaking at him and puffing up like real toads. He shrieked, sending a group of girls nearby giggling. He jumped a foot in the air. No, wait. His shoes jumped a foot in the air. Left. Right. Left. Left. Right. And suddenly, he was sent careening around the room, leaping over tables and students, stumbling over chairs and upheaving steaming dishes of potatoes and chicken and stuffing, tureens of gravy and heaping plates of corn and carrots and broccoli and squash, and screaming like a banshee as he crashed through a window. Feet flailing in the air, he landed, wide-eyed, in the corridor.

"What has gotten into you, Potter?" said an appalled Professor Mcgonagall as she poked her head through the shattered window.

"I- I-" he stuttered, trying to make sense of it all. In the crowd of students gathering behind Mcgonagall, he saw a red head of hair and two green eyes watching him. He gulped.

"I'm getting detention," he finished weakly, to which his classmates responded with scattered laughter.

"I should say so," she said, as the Marauders helped her lift him back through the window. He dusted himself off as conversation returned to the room and glanced quickly around. He shook his head in admiration when he caught sight of a toothy smile walking out.

XXX

"How'd it go?" Severus asked when Lily showed up for Potions Monday morning. It was a week since the beginning of what had been deemed "The Very Warty Prank Wars" by practically the entire school, and Lily was running out of ideas. If Lily had thought things would cool down after the incident in the Great Hall, she was much mistaken, for incredibly, James seemed to have actually enjoyed it. Though she would never admit it, she too thought there was something fun about filling the shower with toads, filling his trunk with toads, filling her mind with toads. By this point, their pranks were far from original, and the creatures could be found everywhere, even the Divinations classroom which was only accessible by a ladder. Somehow, between detentions, classes, Quidditch, and homework, Lily, James, Severus, and the Marauders had been able to keep up a constant battle while narrowly avoiding expulsion. Sometime, this had to stop, but there still remained the question of how.

"It went fine. James shrieked like a little girl again, and Marlene Mckinnon just missed punching me in the mouth. We're good, though. I explained it to her, and she promised not to say it's all been us as long as it settles down by Friday."

"Oh," was all he said.

As Professor Slughorn trooped in the room and began writing potion ingredients on the board, Lily leaned over and whispered in Severus' ear.

"I'm sorry about all this, Sev. You think I don't notice, but I know you're bugged that I've let it go this far. I'm just not sure what to do. I'm… I'm just sorry."

"It's nothing," he said bluntly.

Lily sat back in her seat, biting her lip, obviously unable to focus on Slughorn's blathering. Snape sighed. Why couldn't he ever stay angry at her?

"I know how we can finish it. Shut Potter's mouth for good," he whispered in her ear. She sat back and lit up, relief flooding her face.

"You mean it, Sev? After I've been so rotten?"

He nodded. "Meet me in the library. Six o'clock. Potter won't know what hit him."

"Thanks, Sev." She took his hand and squeezed it. Without thinking, she pecked him on the cheek. He froze, looking stunned, but she didn't seem to notice. Across the room, Potter groaned.

XXX

"I thought we decided this was too extreme," Lily said disapprovingly. It was shortly after six that evening, and she and Severus were hunched around an ancient, yellowing spell book.

"You decided it was too extreme. I think it's the least he deserves, and it's temporary, anyway. As long as you have the counter-curse, you can choose to have mercy on that pompous git any time you like. Besides, this is the only way."

"I don't know, Sev."

"You think anything else will penetrate that thick skull?"

"Well, no, but- "

"I thought you were willing to do whatever it takes," he said, snapping the book shut and pursing his lips. Lily stuck her finger out just in time to save the page.

"All right, all right. I am. Sorry."

He eyed her suspiciously for a moment, then smirked, apparently satisfied.

"Wands out. Now," he rolled up his sleeves and Lily mirrored him. He began reading the page's heading: "Human to Amphibian Transformations: Lucinda Cane's Tips on Frogs and Toads."

X

It was quite a while before Lily felt competent. For the first hour, she didn't dare do anything but wave her wand around and mouth the curse, or set her wand down and say it aloud. Snape was a surprisingly decent teacher, though, so after a while, he'd deemed her good enough to practice on him. She took some convincing, but might have put up more of a fight if this had been the first time they'd worked on a new spell together, but it was actually a regular occurrence. It was a favorite pastime of theirs, in fact, and they'd spent many hours either practicing old spells or inventing new ones. Severus had even been known to brew his own potions, but Lily wasn't quite as confident in that area. Still, she prided herself on her ability to master wand-work rather quickly, though tonight had proved difficult. Once more, she spoke an incantation, and the toad that had moments ago been perched on the table transformed gradually into a smug boy.

"Well done, Lily. Well done. You'll have James practically hopping tomorrow," he said, climbing off of the table.

"Practically hopping?" Lily giggled. "I do believe you just made a joke, Severus."

"Maybe," he grinned.

By this time the library was completely silent, and Lily was shocked out of her feeling of lightheaded triumph when she looked up to see the clock.

"Sev, it's past curfew. Where's Madame Pince?"

Severus looked around casually for the librarian, apparently fully aware of the time and not too concerned about it, but he muttered, "Yes, I think she went off in search of something for the Headmaster. She probably doesn't remember we're here."

Judging by the size of Lily's already large eyes, she was far more worried about it than he was. "Oh, no. What are we going to do about Filch? I've already been in detention twice this week, and I swear that's a record. I can't get caught again. Merlin, what're we gonna do?"

"First of all, it's not a record. You forgot the Marauders. Secondly, you're not gonna get caught. I'll go scout. Be back in a minute." Before she could stop him, Severus slipped through the door and was gone.

She debated following him, but it wouldn't do any good for either of them if they were both caught, so instead, she sat back at the table and removed her wand. Twice more, she practiced the toad transformation incantation, but by now utterly bored of it, she flipped the page in search of a new spell.

Her eyes were beginning to droop, and still Severus hadn't returned. Maybe he'd been caught, and maybe he was tired enough he'd forgotten about her and gone straight to bed. Whatever the case, it was dark and quiet, and so, when Lily finally did hear a sound and saw a small prick of light appear from seemingly out of nowhere, she bolted to her feet.

"Amphibiarte!" she squeaked at the same time as another voice cried, "Protego!" Breathing deeply, she clutched her hand to her heart and dropped her wand, her muddled mind finally registering the sight before her. How he'd gotten so far into the room without her knowledge was beyond her, but there was no mistaking the tall figure with mussed hair and perfect teeth, his glasses reflecting the light billowing from his wand.

"Evans?" he startled, though he sounded a lot happier about it than she was. "I didn't know you'd ever be caught dead out after curfew."

"Oh, really? Well, I can't say the same for you, now, can I, James?"

"Uh, Evans?"

"Uh, what?"

"Why…?" He trailed off.

It suddenly occurred to her just how tall James was. In fact, now that she thought about it, it looked like he was getting taller by the minute. It suddenly occurred to her that he was getting taller by the minute. But that wasn't possible, was it? He couldn't possibly…

"Uh, Evans? Why are you shrinking?"

"What?"

"Don't freak out, but Lily- I think you're a toad."

"Well, that's not very nice."

"No, I mean, you're rather attractive normally, but- "

"WHAT?!"

"Lily, let me explain. You're actually a toad, like the warty, slimy, sticky kind that we've been leaving in each other's sheets and stuff- "

"You never put any in my sheets."

"Oh, heh heh, yeah, that's what I was working on tonight. Sorry about that."

"James, I swear, if you put toads in my sheets- "

"Sorry, too late. Just promise you'll come to my funeral."

"Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be doing any killing if I'm actually a toad… Wait, are you sure? I'm a toad? Really? How is that possible? How is that even bloody possible?! Merlin, I'm going to kill you. I'm really, really going to kill you."

"Uh, Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"What was that spell you used when you came in the room? The one that I blocked?"

"Oh. I guess it is possible. I used 'amphibiarte.' What was yours, 'protego?'"

"Yup. That'd be the one."

"Yeah, I was going to turn you into a toad tomorrow. I thought it might end the Toad Wars."

"So you really did intend to turn me into a toad? Wasn't I green and grimy enough for you?"

Lily actually snorted, as much as it was possible for a toad to snort, as she began to hop around on her new, long and lopsided legs. She started pacing, as much as a toad can pace, and then decided she wasn't comfortable with her eye-level. Weighing her options, her ultra-round eyes latched onto the desk. Positioning herself a few feet from the chair, and hoping hopping on it would give her a boost up, she took a flying leap. She made the chair with ease, and thought she was home free when she hit the surface of the table until her sticky hands got stuck and flung her upside down and into space. With an embarrassing CROAK! she flipped through the air and landed with a plunk on the floor again. She winced. Could this day get any worse?

Of course James was laughing. It was a miracle that none of the teachers had come running from all the noise they were making. At this point, Lily half-wished they would come. Better to spend her life as a muggle than as a toad.

Her eyes were positioned under her flailing body, so when she felt herself being lifted into the air, it sent her into an alert state of panic. She tried to jump free, but she was powerless to escape the grip of her assailant. Steeling herself for the worst, she tried to play dead as a last ditch effort before she felt herself being placed gently onto a smooth surface. She was on the tabletop, fully intact, and inches away she was met by the uncontrollable grin of… Oh, duh. James Potter.

"You really are tired, eh, Lil? Or maybe it's just the stress of having that abnormally large brain of yours crammed into a miniature skull?"

"Hey! You take that back, you lousy- Oh." Strange. When she thought about it, it almost sounded like an offhanded compliment.

Somehow, things had only gone downhill since she'd stupidly turned herself into a toad, and she honestly didn't know how that was possible. Taking a few deep breaths and trying to clear her head, the obvious solution hit her like a ton of bricks. Good job, you twat, she thought to herself. You can just ask him to turn you back.

"Uh, James?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"I'm sorry I turned your shoes into toads. And hid toads in your luggage. And replaced your chocolate frogs with toads- "

"Yeah, that last one was me."

"Oh, yeah. Whatever. Anyway, I'm sorry. Truce?"

James went quiet for a moment, and she was surprised to see he actually looked crestfallen about it. "But- "

"Please?"

Slowly, James nodded. "I guess so." He paused. "Now what?"

Oh, yeah. "Potter, I have a favor to ask. Could you please, please, please turn me back, and for Merlin's sake, don't muss it up?"

As James had a terrible habit of doing at all the wrong moments, he laughed, a hearty laugh that the whole castle should have heard but magically didn't.

"Sure, Lil. But how?"

Lily sighed with relief, then bristled as she realized she'd been allowing him to call her "Lil" without any repercussions, and then sighed again and shrugged it off. "There's this spell. It's in this book," she said, tapping it with her toe. "Page 257. The bottom one."

James sat down at the table and flipped through to the page, pulled out his wand and pointed it at Lily, but before she could brace herself, he lowered it again.

"One condition," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"I'll only change you back if you do something for me. Do we have a deal?"

"Oh, of course, naturally, whatever. It's not like I have any other choice at this point. Honestly."

"You sure?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she scowled at him.

"Oh, fine! What is it?"

"I want you to kiss me."

"WHAT?!"

"I'll settle for the cheek, but the guys won't believe me when I tell them. One kiss from Lily Evans, or this deal goes out the window. Take it or leave it."

Lily's mouth gaped open, in utter horror, disgust, and the utmost disbelief.

"You can't possibly be serious!"

"You're right. I'm James."

"Very funny, very funny, indeed. You're completely barmy, James Potter, and you can just forget it. I wouldn't kiss you in a million years."

"Fine. I'll just take my pride and go. Didn't expect you to go for it anyway, but a bloke's got to try, eh? See you around, Evans," James said, rising from his chair with a huge smirk on his face. He turned to go, but life as a toad seemed to be caving in on "Evans," and as Snape still hadn't arrived, James' proposal was looking like her only option.

"Wait! I'll do it, I'll do it. You're a complete arse, James Potter, and a nutter besides, but I'll do it. Assuming I survive the transformation. Quite frankly, I'm not at all convinced you're competent."

"Ah, come on. You wouldn't let me attempt it if that were true. You really are a sport, Lily-kins, and I shall remember this forever."

"Oh, that I should be so lucky," Lily muttered, tersely. She was so absorbed in her own disgruntlement that she hardly noticed the transformation until she was standing, arms folded, back to her normal form and height. It only furthered her irritation that he'd somehow mastered the charm in less than five minutes.

"A kiss for the hero?"

"I suppose," she grumbled.

"I didn't catch that."

"Oh," she grumbled again. A sudden thought came to her, and a grin grew, unprovoked, on her face. She mumbled under her breath, and James made some snarky reply that had something to do with her perhaps needing speech therapy, or a megaphone. Lily looked up at him and smiled sweetly.

"A kiss, you say?"

James wrinkled his nose in an adorable, teasing sort of way that probably would have killed most girls, but not Lily.

"If you please, Miss Evans," he said, leaning down to her height. Something told her that he didn't expect her to do it, which was surprising of itself, and at the very most, he probably assumed it would be a hasty peck on the cheek. Without thinking about what she was doing for more than an instant, Lily Evans reached up and kissed him smack on the mouth, a full three seconds, and backed away beaming.

"Evans?!" James' eyes were so wide he looked like he was gonna pass out. "I, um, I-"

And suddenly, he screeched as a slimy, warty, ugly, grimy, olive-green toad jumped out of his mouth.

"Lily!" he exclaimed, and she could finally hear the teachers and students climbing out of bed and into the halls. Quickly stuffing her wand into her pocket, she saw a very unamused Snape standing in the doorway behind Potter, saying something about having a run-in with Slughorn. Impulsively patting James' cheek as she hopped past him, she ran to her friend and took his hand.

"Come on, Sev, let's get out of here."

"Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"Yeah, but it can wait."

"Oi! Evans!" said James, a warty toad falling out of his mouth.

"Night, Potter!" said Lily. And without another word, she was gone.

James quickly threw his invisibility cloak over his head and picked up his wand. He'd have to figure out how to rid himself of the curse, or maybe he could get some help from Sirius and Lupin, but there'd be time for that later. Still stunned and wondering what in Merlin's name had happened that night, he held his breath as Filch flung open the door. Barely squeaking out before it could close again, James made his way back to Gryffindor tower. Once inside, he breathed a sigh of relief. The common room was empty. For a full five minutes, he sat in an armchair and laughed silently.

"Oh, it is soooo on, Evans."

A toad fell in his lap.

He went up the stairs to wake Remus up, and hopefully, to get some sleep. From the door of the boys' dormitory, he could just hear as Lily began screaming.

 **A/N:** So... what did you think? Too cheesy? Too ridiculous? Or just right? Is Lily too much of a brat? Sometimes I wonder these things and I would really love feedback... just saying. :) Hope to post another one soon. Anyway, thanks again and hope this wasn't a huge waste of your time! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Say You'll Go Out With Me?

Synopsis: The Yule Ball is coming, and with it the usual terror of finding a date. The girls are teasing each other, the boys are scheming, and Lily's just praying she'll go with someone fun and semi-normal. That someone is not James. But James isn't stupid, and he's definitely going with her...

It was early December, but no one was planning to go home for Christmas. Rather, the often empty halls of Hogwarts were abuzz with life, the excited chatter making for a far more festive atmosphere than usual. Typically, Lily Evans would be on the train now, on her way home to her mum, her dad, and Tuney, her big sister. Her grandparents would be visiting as they did every year, but for the first time, Lily wouldn't be there to see them. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, but holidays were less jolly than they used to be, now that Tuney spent the weeks avoiding her. And really, she was looking forward to Christmas Eve here. This year, Hogwarts was hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and Christmas Eve was the Yule Ball.

Yes, she was excited. It would be fun to get out and dance, dress up a bit, see Hogwarts in all its ornamental glory, and listen to the musical group "The Broomstick Boys," but she couldn't help but feel that some aspects were overhyped. Unlike other girls, who were constantly primping and gossiping about who they wanted to ask them out, Lily would have been more than content to leave dating out of it and go by herself. But by Monday morning, she could already tell that that was out of the question.

"Roses are red, so is your hair, come with me to the Yule Ball, because you are fair," read Marlene Mckinnon, slamming down the pink paper with a snort. "Real charmer, isn't he, Lil'? So, you gonna go with- " she picked up the paper and pretended to consult it. "Damian Dogbreath?"

Lily half laughed, half groaned from her bed in the Gryffindor dormitories and face-planted into a pillow. "Why do I have to attract all the weirdos? What, is it pick on the gingers day?"

Next to Marlene, Alice Crowley stifled a giggle. "Looks like you'd better add Dogbreath to your list, Lil'. Hey, it could be worse, right? At least you haven't been asked by Potter yet."

Lily buried her face farther and moaned. "Msjgksod."

"What?" Marlene laughed. Exchanging a look with Alice, the two girls dragged Lily out from under her covers. Grumbling, Lily glared at them before leaning down and extracting a piece of parchment from beneath her mattress. She took a quill and her inkwell from her bag and jotted "Damian Flemmings" beneath a list of about seven names. Yes, she actually had a list of those who had asked her to the dance. It helped her remember who she should try to avoid.

"Ah, Potter's not so bad," Alice said, ever the positive one. "Most of the girls are enamored with him, even the Beauxbaton girls. Just yesterday I heard a few of them talk of dosing him with a love potion."

At this, Marlene put her hand to her forehead dramatically and feigned a swoon. "Oh, James, James, where art thou?" she squeaked in a high-pitched voice.

"Romeo and Juliet? Really?" Lily gagged.

"No, I was doing an impersonation of you, actually." Marlene said cheekily, batting her eyelashes.

Lily opened her mouth in protest, but before she could get a word out, Marlene stuck a hand over her mouth and turned to Alice.

"She's a killer, that one. Willing to break a bloke's heart and all, just because he's fool enough to be infatuated with her- "

"He is not!" Lily snapped, wrenching free. "Infatuated! Honestly!" She got to her feet, fuming. Alice reached to take her hand in an attempt to calm her down, but Lily whirled on her.

"If you're so in love with that prat, you can go with him to the dance! And besides, he won't be asking, what with his _ridiculous_ entourage."

"Whoa, cool it, Lil'. We didn't mean anything by it," Marlene said pleasantly. Alice regarded her amusedly, but Lily went completely red.

"Um, yeah. Sorry about that. I just, well…" Lily trailed off, now subdued and extremely embarrassed. She knew she was being a prat, but at any mention of James, she had a tendency to fly off the handle. James was a right git, and she was pretty sure he hated her, despite what the other girls said. Why else would he irritate her night and day? Whatever the case, something about him always irked her. Thankfully, her friends seemed to know that and had apparently been anticipating her response. Marlene pulled her onto the edge of the bed again, and Alice altered the topic.

"Actually, I've already said yes to Frank Longbottom," Alice said, flushing.

"Oh, Alice!" Lily exclaimed happily.

Marlene poked her in the ribs before putting in her two-cents.

"Fine. Trust you to get the only non-Marauder our year," she teased. "I can't believe you didn't tell us!"

"I did, though. Just now. Oh, and he told me a secret, you know," Alice whispered conspiratorially.

"Oh, yeah?"

"He says Sirius Black is thinking of asking you."

"Nah uh. You're jesting, you are," Marlene laughed, disbelievingly. She caught Alice's expression, and lifted an eyebrow, seeming to realize she wasn't kidding.

"I should play him up a bit, shall I? See if I can hook that one after all?" she said slowly. Lily burst into a fit of giggles. It was no secret among the girls that Marlene Mckinnon had had a thing for Sirius since the beginning of first year, and it was no secret to anyone that Sirius Black was as fickle as they came.

"By all means, Marlene. He might ask you out yet!"

Marlene's lips twitched. "Wait, let me check my schedule…"

 **XXX**

"Why do girls get it so easy, eh? All they have to do is say bloody yes," James grumbled from his seat in the Gryffindor common room. On his left was a trash bin, heaped with crumpled pieces of parchment scribbled with a hundred failed ideas. Sirius put down his quill and looked at James curiously for a moment before a grin grew on his face.

"I don't know, mate. I was just thinking how funny it is that we've used more parchment on this than on the year's worth of homework."

James snorted, but before he could respond, there was a voice behind him.

"Finally starting that Herbology essay, Prongs, Padfoot?"

The voice belonged to Remus, and his timing had been perfect. Both James and Sirius exploded into laughter, the latter falling on the floor when he saw the confusion on Lupin's face.

"When have we ever, Moony? This is of far more importance than that. We're on a mission of sorts, you see," Sirius said, holding up his parchment on which was drawn a perfect likeness of Professor Mcgonagall.

"Hey, I thought we were plotting!" said James, snatching the portrait from him. A speech bubble coming from Mcgonagall's mouth read, "I'll not have my house besmirching Godric Gryffindor's good-for-nothing name."

"I think it was 'good name,' Padfoot. 'Gryffindor's _good_ name,'" said Remus, taking it from James. "What do you mean by 'plotting,' anyway?"

"Prongs and I wanted a head start on getting dates for the Yule Ball," Sirius said. "You know, before the good ones are gone. Besides, some of those Beauxbaton girls are getting a bit clingy. James doesn't get so much attention, he's completely outshone by me, but I simply can't take any more of this- "

"Oi! You're a bloody liar, you are! That Delaney McClaire couldn't take her bloody eyes off- "

"You are daft, James. She was clearly looking at me- "

"Both of you, is this really necessary?" Remus said, shutting them both up. "Who are you asking, then?"

"Marlene," said Sirius.

"Lily," said James.

"Ah, I see," said Remus. "Best of luck to you both." With that, he went to walk up the stairs.

"Oi, hold it, Moony? Who're you asking?"

"Who knows?" he shrugged listlessly, and with that, he was gone.

"Gi'mme that," said Sirius, reclaiming his artwork. James sighed, then tucked back into his 'plotting.'

 **XXX**

Lily had always thought Remus Lupin very nice, but she hadn't thought he liked her much. It was for that reason that she was surprised when he pulled her over in the hallway about a week before Christmas. A box was clutched tightly in his hands and a nervous expression was on his face. He kept glancing over his shoulder for some reason as he lead her to an alcove with a window overlooking the frozen grounds.

"What's up, Remus? You look anxious."

"Oh, yeah?" he said absently. She watched him expectantly. "Uh, right. So, uh, do you have a date for the dance yet?"

"Oh, no, not yet," she said, shaking her head. Without knowing why she said it, she admitted, "but it's getting harder and harder to say no."

Remus tilted his head curiously. "Why is that, exactly? Are you waiting on someone?"

Lily bit her lip as she had a habit of doing. "No, not really, I'd just hoped Severus would ask so I wouldn't have to behave myself." Her eyes widened at her own honesty, and Remus seemed to relax a bit. He chuckled.

"I know what you mean. I never knew teenagers could be so vicious."

Lily smiled, still curious as to where this was going, but not so uptight about it. "So, what'd you want to ask me?"

Remus sighed, gathering his courage, and said quickly, "I'll understand if you'd rather go with Severus, but would you go to the ball with me?"

Lily startled. "Um, yes."

"Wait, what? Really?"

She thought about it for a second. "Yes. Yes, I will. At this point, I'd probably be going alone, and you aren't like those other boys. Of course I'll go with you."

Remus smiled. Something about his mannerisms told her he felt the same way about her as she did about him- both were friendly enough and it wouldn't be awkward. In fact, she thought brightly, going with Remus might be really fun.

She only had one real question.

"Why did you ask me?"

"Uh, yeah, don't hate me, but I wanted to save you from James," he said, looking stressed again.

"How does that work, exactly?"

"Well, his ideas for asking you are only getting more humiliating, and I just assumed you didn't want to go with him. You don't, do you?"

Lily shuddered, then smiled at him gratefully. "No, I really don't. Thank you, I mean it."

Remus grimaced for some unknown reason, but quickly recovered.

"So, meet me in the Entrance Hall? Six on the twenty-fourth?"

"I'll be there."

Remus handed her the box, waved, and walked away. She opened it.

Inside was a golden snitch with the initials "J.P." inscribed on the side. Confused, she looked at it for a moment before removing a small envelope. The words on the letter said:

"This belongs to James Potter. Keep it safe for me, will you? -Remus"

Lily tucked the snitch into her robes and grinned. She honestly couldn't wait for the Yule Ball.

 **XXX**

It was on the night before Christmas Eve that things began to go down hill. At eight o'clock, Peter Pettigrew came running into the common room squealing and a few minutes later, he was met by Potter and Black on the stairs.

"It's Remus, Remus," he kept repeating, his nose twitching and eyes watering. He glanced nervously at Lily. After some urging and yes, threatening, on the part of James and Sirius, he found enough voice to explain what had happened. Apparently, Remus had come down with some serious illness and he'd had to go to the hospital wing. Without drawing too much attention to herself, Lily sneaked out to visit him.

As she walked, Lily thought about the week's events. Both she and Remus had agreed it wasn't wise to let slip who she was going with to James, but she'd been sure to talk loudly about her 'date' one evening in the common room so that James couldn't help but hear her. He'd been snappy all the next day, but when she'd 'innocently' questioned him, he'd just brushed her off. It'd been refreshing, actually.

Severus hadn't ever gotten around to asking her, or maybe he'd never intended to. He was growing more distant these days, and it made her sad, but there wasn't much she could do about it. Still, she was more than happy to go with Remus. That is, she had been, she thought when she finally arrived at the hospital wing.

At the door, Madame Pomfrey told her that that was no longer an option. Remus was far too ill to be attending any balls. For some reason, Pomphrey seemed surprised that Lupin had asked her at all, but Lily chalked that up to the boy's sometimes antisocial behavior. Thanking Madame Pomfrey and asking the healer to send her well-wishes to Remus, Lily left.

She studied her feet all the way back to the common room, and didn't bother to respond when James called out to her: "What's wrong, Evans?" She locked herself up in the girls' dormitory for the rest of the night to avoid the Marauders. That way, she couldn't give anything away. But she'd be lying if she said she wasn't also disappointed.

At four the next day, Alice and Marlene dragged her to the showers and bolted her in until she'd cleaned up and donned her green satin dress- simple, but flattering in the way it fell to the floor and set off her emerald eyes. In honor of Remus, who was rumored to be in dreadful condition, she tucked the snitch into her bodice. The other girls were already dressed and ready by then, and so all three of them took turns doing each other's hair and makeup. Lily didn't know why she bothered, but the others insisted. It was required to attend, anyway.

"Oh, lighten up, Lily. You look beautiful."

"Thanks, Alice. Even if you're completely barmy."

"Did you really just insult her after she complimented you?" Marlene said sternly.

"Sorry, Alice. You're very sweet."

By six o'clock, they all headed down to the entrance hall, ooing and ahing over the sparkling tinsel and twinkling lights that adorned every inch of the castle. All around them, beautiful goddesses in bright silks and satins, and dashing gentlemen in fine woven robes bustled around in place of the school boys and girls in their everyday uniforms. Lily couldn't stop herself from staring around with bright eyes, suddenly glad for her insistent friends, even if she didn't have a date. She barely registered the words that informed her that Alice's date Frank had arrived to whisk her away, and she just had time to smile back before Marlene disappeared, beaming on the arm of an intensely handsome Sirius Black. Riding the wave into the Great Hall, Lily gasped at the unrecognizability of the place.

Not even the professors were seated. Everyone was on their feet and dancing as "The Broomstick Boys" took up a merry beat. Lily tapped her toes and waved her arms, singing as friends and foes alike greeted her through the crowd. For an indefinite amount of time, Lily was lost to the noise and the color and the euphoria surging through her veins, when suddenly-

"Some party, eh, Lil'?"

The voice was right in her ear, and she jumped, smacking the speaker in the face with her head as she whirled on him. An utter stranger stood before her, his dark hair tousled yet sleek, his hazel eyes glittering with mirth and moonlight behind his spectacles, his smile white as winter on his face.

"James?" she gasped, wide-eyed. He laughed, and it was the first time she'd ever noticed his dimples.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said, rubbing his cheek where her head had collided. She was inexplicably angry now that the shock had worn off, so she folded her arms, swiveled on her heel, and tried to squeeze her way between the revelers. Before she could be lost to the crowd, though, James grabbed her hand. She rounded on him, her glare burning him like deadly green acid.

Somehow, James was unfazed.

"I thought you'd be in a better mood tonight," he joked, nodding disinterestedly at a gorgeous sixth year Ravenclaw who winked as she flitted past.

"I was," Lily retorted, looking at anything but him.

Becoming exasperated when he failed to capture her attention, James burst out, "Why do you hate me so much? Fine, go. Have a nice life," he snapped, releasing her. She almost did it, but something about his tone, his words, hurt. Maybe she deserved it, she thought, studying him with an odd look on her face. Maybe she was too harsh on him. She sighed finally.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't know, you just…. set me off sometimes." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, all the time. The point is, I don't hate you. The truth is… I thought you hated me."

The last part was whispered so quietly, she was surprised he'd even heard her over the music, but his expression softened as he whispered back.

"How could you think that? When all I ever do is… because I…" His words seemed to have caught in his throat, and Lily cursed the tingling that raced down her spine. She could literally feel the change in atmosphere when he suddenly coughed.

"So, Evans. Now that that's cleared up, what do say to a dance, eh?" he said, his flushed cheeks returning to normal. "I promise I won't step on your feet as long as you promise not to kill me for asking."

Lily laughed, her mood lightening against her will- a result of the holiday spirit, maybe?- and took his proffered arm.

"Why not?" she said, surprising herself. "Except… Wait. Where's your date? Potter, don't tell me you've ditched her! I swear I'll hurt you," she chided. James snickered.

"Hehe, about that. I don't really have one."

"What?!"

"I never asked anyone and decided I'd rather go by myself."

"How'd you manage that, what with all the hussies lining up to date the all-too-desirable James Potter?"

"You mean that, Lil'? Tell me you're jealous."

"I'm not the one saying it. Just- rumors, you know," she stiffened, going pink. James chuckled and took her arm again, leading her to a less condensed spot and placing one of her hands on his shoulder and taking the other in his own. Lily was embarrassed to admit he was a better dancer than she was, but as the melody took a soothing turn, she began to relax. They glid around the room, and once again Lily was lost, to the lights, the music, and this time to the gentle embrace of James freaking Potter.

Most of the staff and students were either resting or eating by the time Lily snapped from her haze and looked up at James. Incredibly, she was nestled so tightly into him that she had to step away to see his face. A thought had suddenly occurred to her, jolting her from the moment and distracting her from being embarrassed. She eyed him suspiciously.

"You never asked me where my date was," she said, remembering the careful precautions she had taken.

"Oh, Remus couldn't make it," he said dreamily.

"What?!" At this she stepped away decidedly, her hand on her wand in an instant. "I never told you who I was coming with, and I know Lupin didn't, either."

James opened and closed his maw like a fish, then a wave of panic washed over him.

"Uh, yeah, no I- hehe- I just didn't care if you had a date or not," he said hastily, his guilty grin begging her to buy it. Lily's eyes narrowed.

"You. Complete. Arse. James Potter!" she said, smacking his arms with each word. "Of all the dirty, low things to do! What did you do to Remus?"

"Nothing, nothing, I swear! I wouldn't do something like that!" he pleaded.

Lily dropped her arm, still glaring, then put her hands on her hips. Only his sincerity could have stopped her assault, but she still expected an explanation. "I'm waiting." She pursed her lips.

James blew out a puff of air and ran a hand through his hair, clasping his arms behind his head.

"Yeah, about that…"

"Mhm."

"It's my fault Remus even asked you," he said, watching Lily's puzzlement. "You see… I knew you'd never go if _I_ asked you, and I already knew Remus wouldn't be able to make it because- well, the reason's not important- but I figured, what the heck? All those other girls, begging to go with me and trying to sneak love notes into my bookbag-"

Lily snorted.

"It's true!" he said defensively, nevertheless rolling his eyes. "Anyway, I didn't want to go with them, so I asked Remus if he would do me a favor, and well… here we are," he finished.

Lily didn't know what to say. It was so absurd, so incredibly stupid, that it just might be true. She couldn't believe her ears.

"I mean, don't blame Lupin, I'm sure he would have loved to go with you, and he didn't want to do it, at first, but you know me. I'm bloody stubborn when I want to be, and I couldn't imagine going with anyone but you-"

Lily blinked at him.

"Merlin, Lil', just say something! I thought you'd at least have the decency to be furious at me-"

But before he could say another word, Lily reached up and kissed him. Hard. Hands caressing his cheeks and right on the mouth with the ferocity of a lion. Which, if you thought about it, she sort of was.

"I loathe you, James Potter," she said, wiping off a spot of lip gloss. She brushed the hair out of his eyes, flushed deeply, and with a flip if her fiery mane, she turned and disappeared.

"Wait, Lil'!" He exclaimed, coming to his senses a full thirty seconds too late. Failing to notice the venomous stares and whispers of a few nearby "hussies," James chuckled, his cheeks dusted a vivid shade of crimson. Knowing she couldn't hear him, he echoed, "I loathe you, too."

 **XXX**

The announcement that the Yule Ball would be ending soon rang out just before James found her again, sitting out in the garden with her chin in her hands. Her face and arms were flushed from the bitter cold, but she didn't seem in any hurry to leave as she stared out on the frostbitten grounds, bathed blue by the Christmas lights.

"Hey," he said, settling beside her.

"Hey," she said, casually linking arms.

"So, I was wondering, do you still have the snitch Remus gave you?" James asked. Lily grinned.

"You knew about that?"

"Of course. Do you have it?"

"It so happens I do," she admitted, slipping it onto her palm.

"Open it."

"How?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot they worked this way. May I?"

He took the snitch and as soon as it touched his fingertips, it began to open. Lily watched, wonderingly, as he tipped it over and a small pendant fell out. James looked at it for a moment, then placed it in Lily's palm, closing her fist around it. She held it up to the light and could just make out the Gryffindor crest etched on the front. Flipping it over, she read the words of a short message inscribed on the back:

"So you don't forget tonight when you remember to hate me. Happy Christmas! Love, James."

"I really do loathe you, James Potter," she whispered, securely fastening it around her neck as midnight tolled.

"I loathe you, too," he smiled, just as Marlene and Sirius strolled up, laughing and kissing, behind them.

More, though neither realized it, than life itself.

 **A/N:** Hello, me again! Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long! I actually had this written awhile back, but I wanted to hold off on the kissing and write another one in between, but... *shrugs.* Originals always get in the way. You know how it is. :) I figured you'd waited long enough, so hope you enjoyed it! Feedback would be soooo welcomed, but either way, thank you for reading! You are all the best and I hope you have a lovely 10/10! (How cool is that? I dunno, it just is.) Bye and have a fantastic week!


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